I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
All I want is dick and wine.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
