I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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