This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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