Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
