Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
