How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
