yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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