Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
FUCK WHALES
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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