Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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