i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
