adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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