Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
