Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
