yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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