We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Randomize
