so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
