Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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