He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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