...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
