I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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