I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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