Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
she told me i tasted like america
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
