let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
