No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
