I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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