nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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