I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
