Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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