yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
