I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
