that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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