True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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