Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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