dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
