she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
