Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
