Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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