; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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