Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
