Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
