I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
