i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
