I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The police scanner is talking about you again....
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
