I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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