just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
