I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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