Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
