bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Terrible idea I love it
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
