I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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