So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
