she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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