Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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