we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
