I hope mine doesn't look like that
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
