he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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